How to host a Babyshower or Mother Blessing
My babyshower was one of the best days. Although I have 2 kids, I was pregnant with my second through the pandemic lockdowns so no shower that time round. Sad face. However, they are one of my favourite occassions to attend.
If you are wondering the difference between a mother blessing and a babyshower, a mother blessing (or sometimes referred to as a Blessing Way) is a sacred occassion to celebrate and hold the mother. To honour her and see her as she prepares for baby to arrive.
A babyshower is more of a traditional celebration focused on baby and might include gifts and games. I personally think you can call the event whatever you like, and it can be as traditional or as woo woo as you like it. Just like in birth, the choice is yours.
So if you or a friend are pregnant and wondering what to do, here are some ideas I have done myself or seen others do beautifully, as well as some of the logisitical considerations:
Include a meditation or a reading to welcome everyone and begin.
This is the beginning of a beautiful passage from the book Joyful Birth: A Spiritual Path to Motherhood by Susan Piver.
WHERE AND WHEN:
Often they are held in the mother to be’s home, a hired venue or a friends home. If you are after a peaceful, aesthetic vibe you could also look into yoga and wellness studios, beautiful cafes/restaurants or public gardens.
I even know of people who have used an Air Bnb for a mother blessing.
Be mindful of the weather and access.
Can people get in and out easily? Are there chairs or do people need to bring a cushion? Are there toilets (this is super important for any event hosting pregnant women)?
What feel or style are you going for?
Once you know that, you can plan everything around it. There is an option to suit every taste and budget.
FOOD & DRINKS
My preference is for there to be food and drinks for people to graze on at their leisure but this is 100% up to you. You may prefer it to be served at the beginning or end.
➡️ If you are at a cafe/restaurant, ensure everyone is aware of whatever system is in place. Eg are they ordering for themselves, is something going to be prepared and brought out. Pop this info on the invitation so there is no fuss around food on the day.
If at a private venue or someones home: grazing platters, soups, bliss balls, fruit platters and small bites to eat are perfect. Keep it healthy, colourful, feel-good food.
After the event, I love to have something sweet along with herbal tea or kombucha/juice to sip on while everyone chats.
Either hire a caterer to help you or delegate specific dishes to other people attending. Sharing the load not only helps you out but is a beautiful act of service to the mother to be.
If you feel up to it, mocktails are fun to include. You can even have a little mocktail bar set up with juices, fruits, mineral water etc for people to DIY their own drink.
RITUALS/ACTIVITIES
You can decide which of these might fit your style, and I would love to know if you come up with some of your own too.
Have music playing as people enter, greet each person as they enter and point out where everything is
Say a meditation or a reading to ground everyone and get them “in the zone”
Have everyone go around the circle and speak about how they met the mother to be. Then some single words describing her how she is, or will be as a mother
Make flower crowns. This is so basic and so fun, it takes me back to being a child. It’s also sometimes easier to open up and chat when your hands are busy.
Red thread ceremony. This is a ritual to symbolise the connectedness of the women gathered. It is a loving reminder to all, but especially the mother to be, that they are part of a supportive community and they are the village. A read thread is wrapped around the mother to be’s wrist, and then around the next womans wrist and so on, until each woman is connected. The thread is then cut and tied around each wrist. It is kept on until the baby is born.
Guess the birth date. A classic game, and one I’ve played countless times. Print out a calendar and have each person write their name on a date. A bit of fun.
Meal train organisation. During the event talk about a meal train and your intention to support the mother through postpartum. Create a group chat there and then and this is a place everyone can be informed about the labour/birth, discuss meals, offer support and generally keep in touch.
GIFTS
I have been to babyshowers where gifts were almost the main event, and others where it was the complete opposite. I personally think that whatever you do, it is important to specify what the expectation is.
For example: will there be a registry, would you like people to bring a plate of food or some flowers instead, would you like money donated to a cause in lieu of a gift? Would you prefer no gifts?
Be clear ahead of time so that people can prepare themselves and not worry about anything on the day except having the most relaxing, cup-filling day.
PHOTOS
You do not want to go to all this effort and not have something to look back on! Either have a photographer come along or arrange for someone attending (or yourself) to take photos. A photographer could be anything from a serious professional to someones teenager who’s great with a smart phone.
Planning it out will ensure people don’t have their phones out during the event. Have a list of shots you would like, and just check that everyone is ok to have their photo taken and shared to social media, if that is the plan.
Happy planning! If you would like more help in arranging something that is completely personalised and bespoke, please get in touch.
